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Monday, March 27

And You Can Quote Me

Caption Contest Update


A winner for the much talked-about Caption Contest will be announced this Wednesday. All entries will suffer gruelling disection from the likes of comic geniuses like Gilbert Gottfried, Ted Danson, and Maury Povich. Again I repeat, a single winner will be decided sometime on Wednesday. That single winner will then receive the illustrious SHINY THING.

Good Luck everyone!

Heartbeats Across The World

Has anyone seen the Sony Bravia commercial with all the bouncing balls? No? Oh what's that? We have a clip. Check it out.



Now check out this great Battlefield 2 parody.


P.S. If anyone is curious the song playing is Heartbeats by José González.
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Bunny Hopping (Wiki)
Bunny Hopping (UK Fortress)

Poor Old Jakub Fik. In A Fit Of Rage He Lost His Dick.

He lost it in a knife fight with himself. CHECK OUT how far Jakub Fik goes to make a point. This happened in Chicago earlier this month. My friend, Bogey, sent me this article. Apparently the guy was so distraught over problems with his girlfriend that he went on a naked car window smashing rampage. When the cops found him he was bare ass naked and penisless. Fik ran into his house only to return with a handful of knives. He hurled all of the knives at the penis, and as a last resort, or some sort of sick joke lobbed his penis at the police men.

Now, let me say something. If you're going to rampage at all THAT is how you have to do it. Stark raving mad and naked as sin. As for the penis throwing, I've been thinking about that. That has to be the ultimate insult. The end all be all to any argument or fight. How do you come back from someone throwing their severed penis at you? What are you going to do? Drop your pants and hack off your penis (or carve out your vulva) to get even. That's all you could do, AND THEN you'd only be getting even. There's no way to top that!

Oh man, what if it hits you in the face. I don't think anyone could ever recover from a stranger's severed member slapping them cheekside from a launch. You'd be waking up in cold sweats for the rest of your life screaming, "NOT IN THE MOUTH!"


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World Penis News
Penis Removal (Wiki)

Friday, March 24

Sponsored By The M12 LRV Warthog. The Hog.

Tired of the old mundane television talk shows with hicks, MTV, or chins hosting? Who isn't? Do you love games, and the outlets they are providing to creativity because of their rich environments and connectivity? So do I! Well, a new late night net talk show, called This Spartan Life, has emerged in gamespace. This talk show uses the Halo 2 engine to provide viewers with insightful interviews from leading heads in the games/media industry, such as Bob Stein, Peggy Ahwesh, The Ill Clan, and Marty O'Donnell. This show also highlights the latest chiptunes, is peppered with Halo geekdom and madcap chaos, and features the best virtual dance squad ever to grace gamespace, THE SOLID GOLD ELITE DANCERS!!!




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Machinma.com
Red Vs. Blue
The Strangerhood

Monday, March 20

No. It's A Cardigan, But Thanks For Noticing.

Caption Contest!


I'll start.

"Excuse me, Sir. Could you please pull the ostrich over"

P.S. A panel of judges will decide the funniest one and we'll send you something pretty.


Friday, March 17

You Want Me To Irish Your Movie, For Ya?

Ok, so I don't have some fun festive post about green booze and pubes, but instead I have some movies to talk about. Now, lately I've been lax on my movie viewing, but the reason for that, as far as I can see, has been the lack of good movies. Well, not anymore! I've got a handfull of films here that show alot of promise, and should be watched very carefully. Now, on with the show!

WATCH TRAILER
A Scanner Darkly (In theaters July 7th)

First up, in alphabetical order, is A Scanner Darkly. The new Linklater film starring everyone's favorite ethnocentric actor, Keanu Reeves. Linklater uses a more advanced form of animation called rotoscoping, used formerly in Waking Life, to breathe life into Philip K. Dick's novel.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party (watch for it on DVD soon)

Next is Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Hmmm... What can I say about this film? Dave Chappelle heads to the heartland to invite people to his Brooklyn-based block party. The party features performances from the likes of Kanye West, Mos Def, Erykah Badu, Dead Prez, Jill Scott, and The Roots, and the whole ordeal is directed by Michel Gondry. I'm half-stock just thinking about it.

WATCH TRAILER
Drawing Restraint 9 (in theaters March 29th)

Next on the list is Drawing Restraint 9. So, you liked the mind-bending films Memento and Primer, eh? How about an abstract metaphorical film about self-imposed restraint and flowing creativity. No? Watch the trailer, and get tweaked to freak. Part of me wants to express how I feel about this, but the other part doesn't think it's the right time. Oh Yeah... Bjork!

Night Watch (in theaters now, watch for it on DVD)

Been aching for your evil in the darkness, undead/vampire/werewolves in modern day Russia flick? I know I have. Well, our prayers have been answered with part one Russia's Timur Bekmambetov's Watch trilogy, Night Watch.

Silent Hill (in theaters April 21st)

Last on the list is another one of those horrible video game adaptations. Wait, did I say horrible? That can't be. It's not directed by Uwe Boll, it stays true to the dark theme, and from what I can tell suspenseful pacing of the game. This film could very well be the best video game movie ever made. I'm not counting the first person scene in Doom of course. Come on, that was just plain fun! Well, the game movie I'm blabbering about is Silent Hill. Yeah! The game franchise for the H.P. Lovecrafters and sado-masachists out there. Frankly, I love it, and the trailer rings true to the game's content. Watch it and then watch this trailer for the 3rd game and 4th game in the series. After watching them you'll wonder why there wasn't a Silent Hill movie made earlier.

WATCH GAME TRAILER for Silent Hill 3
WATCH GAME TRAILER for Silent Hill 4: The Room

Ok, I admit the game trailers are a bit cheesy, but they all portray the same dark gritty atmosphere and grotesqueries that make Silent Hill what it is.

Happy Drinkin' Day, y'all, and don't forget to see some movies.

Tuesday, March 14

Better Than Alphabet Soup

Flickr now with more SPELLING!


ER 013ROuntitled
2One Digit / 0One Digit / 4





Props to Au$10 for this gem

Saturday, March 11

P! Is For Parnell


Ok, gang recently I have been consistently entertained with Chris Parnell from SNL. I unfortunately work saturday nights and don't get to see SNL, but I do get to see alot of the viral videos of his sketches. Recently I came across a 17 minute short film staring Parns. It's a dark comedy entitled FARM SLUTS. It starts off with Parns opening an e-mail from his friend and being bombarded with pornographic popups littered with hot barnyard fun. It only gets worse from there. This is frickin' hilarious. My favorite part is when he tries his luck with his tie.

CHECK IT OUT



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Skits from Parnell