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A Titanic Illness

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:11:00 +0000

Welp, I'm sick again, and that means I'm back on my diet of juice, soup, and ever-gargling with salt water. I was starting to think I had diabetes for a moment there, because it runs rampant in my family, and it's only a matter of time. However, mi madre came over and tested my blood sugar and blood pressure. They both check out. So, now my option is either I've somehow magically contracted the HIVy or I'm akin to Mr. Glass except with diseases. I was thinking the kids could call me The Bug Collector.

In other news the tickets for Cinematic Titanic came in. I'm scheduled to see them on the 20th of this month at the Lakeshore Theater in Chi-town. There is a bit of a problem though. My friend, Ian, now can not go for reasons beyond his control. Now I have a proposition to all of you. If anyone is interested in going with us the ticket is $45. Don't worry I won't charge you with gas fees. At the moment we're pretty flexible on whether or not we're crashing someplace in Chicago. It all depends on the party members' work schedules the following day. Now, if you are a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 I would highly recommend this. Cinematic Titanic is the original cast and crew from the first iteration of the show. That is Joel Hodgson (MST3K creator and Joel Robinson), Josh "Elvis" Weinstein (Tom Servo & Dr. Erhardt), Frank Conniff (TV's Frank), Trace Beaulieu (Crow & Dr. Forrester), and Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester) all get together and riff on a movie live. This is quite honestly a once in a lifetime show. They've only done it a few times, and who knows how long their touring days will last. For more information check out the CINEMATIC TITANIC website. Well, if you're interested get a hold of me!

The Tenacious Bruce

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:43:00 +0000

Ok, gang I got kind of a long one today.... (that's what he said. BAM!) Don't encourage me.

First thing's first, last night was... AWESOME! First of all I don't go to Decatur a lot, and for good reason. Something always happens when I go there. Not something good or bad, just something frustrating I suppose, but in the end it's usually good. Anywhoozle, I head to the Decatur last night to see Bruce "The Chin" Campbell hock his new movie. You know the one he directed and starred in as himself, My Name Is Bruce. So, I head out around 4:30-ish, and after getting gas and dropping off my rent check I run right into traffic. I honestly should have seen this one coming, but visions of chins danced in my head instead. I end up missing my exact, because there were about three semis squabbling over the lanes like little girls, and because of that I couldn't get over to get off, yet alone see the sign to my exit. Before I know it I'm passing Sherman. I frantically call up the Molly, and she then tells me the best course of action is to turn around and just start over. G'ah! So, I did it. I found my exit the second time around. Thank the makers, but not of semis. Then I end up playing phonetag with Natey on the drive down until I make to teh Decatur.

I'm about an hour behind. It's ohhhh 6-ish when I make it to town, and the doors to the theater opened at 6, and the show started at 8. So, because of the lovely snow the other night once I get into Decatur all of the signs are snowed over, and I can't read any of them. I phone up Nate again and ask for landmarks to make my way to The Woods, where he resides. The plan was to get a bite to eat, once I got into town and then head to the theater. I park in the lot of the Jimmy John's, and Nate and Megan meet me there. The Megan departs for class as Nate and I grab a sammich, and then sneak into her apartment to eat, because aparantly this Jimmy John's doesn't even have one table for sitting.

After scarfing down the sammiches and chugging a root beer we head to the theater. Previously, I had thought about looking up directions to the theater, but then I figured, "N'ahhh. Nate's been here long enough. I'm sure he knows where it is." I couldn't have been more wrong. We left Megan's around 6:45-ish and then drove around for a good 20-25 minutes looking for the Avon. After a phone call and a text message we found it. Thank the makers, but not of semis. The tickets were waiting for me at the door, and after procurring twizzlers and a bladder busting soft drink we head into the theater. My god. You could just smell cheese and bacon everywhere. It was like someone fried up loneliness and desperation and then let it sit under a heatlamp for five hours. Nate and I played musical chairs a good number of times before finding a good set of seats that wasn't dripping with that awful stench and was not directly behind fat greasy hair or fat shaggy hair. It was about 40 minutes till the show started that all the real winners started flooding in. I mean real class-A mouth breathers with hiked up pants, taped glasses, and pockmarked faces. Twenty minutes till showtime, and we had an empty seat next to me. We were almost home free. Then it happened.

"Is this seat taken?" The huge sweaty ogre todting a literal tub of popcorn and a drum of soda exhaled.
"No. Take a seat" I replied. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Why oh why did I let him sit down? Why didn't I tell him it was taken? Damn Damn Damn Fuck!

The lingering odar of his trough of cheddar cheese popcorn combined with the overwhelming stench of his failing deoderant under that parka of his about made me vomit. The dweebtastic neo-loser even brought a DVD and a book for Bruce Campbell to sign when it was clearly stated that there would be no signing, just a Q&A afterwards. He kept butting into the nonsensical conversations Nate & I were having as well. Just like that pathetic kid in highschool who has no appreciation for himself, but wants to be a part of the group so he just stands around intergects his opinion when it's quite clear that NO ONE CARES. Poor guy. I felt bad for him, but at the same time I didn't like the idea of our elbows rubbing each other as he chortled and scarfed down that vomit corn during the movie. The whole time I was thinking, "Man, if only I wasn't unsure about ticket availability. Then Roger would be here, and I could be rubbing elbows with them. Damn you Decatur!"

Finally the movie started after some lame jokes from the proprietor of the Avon Theater, Skip Huston, and some even lamer remarks from my new elbow mate. I must say this movie was fan-fucking-tastic! Bruce Campbell at his best if you ask me. Honestly, if you thought he couldn't top his performance in Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness, or even the widely acclaimed Bubba Ho-Tep then you need to see Bruce strut his stuff in this flick. I would tell you the premise, but why don't you just watch the trailer instead. BAM!

Ok, so the trailer is pretty bad. I admit, after seeing the trailer I wasn't expecting much from the movie, but boy were my expectations blown out of the water... HARD! This movie was simply fun and funny with guns, chinese demons, music, transgendered hookers, cave aliens, and Bruce Campbell! Is there really any way to top that? I don't think so. Ok... here's another way of putting it this movie is like Bubba Ho-Tep except instead of a geriatric Elvis and geezer who thinks he is JFK we just have Bruce Campbell. Yeah. It's kind of like that. Awesome, right? I knew you'd see it my way.

So, after the movie was over the man, the myth, the chin himself came out to field questions... or for the first 10 minutes or so lack thereof. This is the fourth time I've got to see Bruce Campbell, and I must say if you ever get the oppurtunity to you should. He's just such a delight. Always in good spirits, and always making fun of everyone, but everyone loves him so he can't be faulted. Some questioneer stated she was from Missouri, and Bruce exclaimed, "Missouri?! Well, then I better... sloooow... dooown... for... you. Do you mosey in Missouri? (in his best podunk accent) I'm just gonna mosey on down to the store." As he hunched his back and slowly walked across the stage. "What do you do in Missouri?" Then he continued in his southern drawl, "We hunt and screw. What are you hunting? Something to screw." He did all of this while she waited patiently to ask him a question. It was a hoot. That's all he did was poke fun at the yokels in Decatur, and their ancient bean-counting economy. Oh yeah, he made fun of Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst too. What a riot! However, as previously stated, it was all in good fun. After he fielded questions for ohhhh probably 45 minutes or so, if not an hour, he left the stage. As he got into his car and took off, the ushers kept everyone in theater just in case anyone got the wise idea of hunting down the Bruce.

So, that's what I did last night. (In my best intimidating James McAvoy voice, which no matter how you cut out sounds like a 12 year old boy begging for candy) What the fuck did you do?

In gaming news the dynamic duo Tenacious D will be on xbox live tomorrow between 6 & 9PM playing Rock Band 2. They are throwing up open challenges to friendly rock offs tomorrow. If anyone is interested you must add their GamerTags: JBTenacious and KGTenacious at least half an hour before the event, so that's by 5:30PM, and then be online during the event. Do it!

Remembering T-Day

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:58:00 +0000

It was quite the T-day my friends. Wednesday was spent with my old roommate, Gabe, my brother Bryan, and their girls Amber & Lara. Then Molly came over after she got off work. We drank, and karaoked, and rock banded. Then they all left, and Molly and I were alone... and I was buzzin'. Earlier Brad suggested we come over. So, Molly and I head over to his place. She drove, of course. Once we got there we drank some more! With fellows such as the Chris, the Dylan, the Brad, the Nate, the Bailey, and Mr. Hollywood. Towards the end of the night we left off the fire extinquisher for no reason at all, yelled at a slut through a window, made it snow all over Chris' car with said extinquisher and then proceeded to carve lewd suggestions and perverted visages through the extinquisher dust onto Chris' car. After that was said and done Molly and I went to Steak N Shake to hate life. We thought a carful of Beerman, Bailey, and Nate was behind us, but it wasn't. However, once we got to S 'N S it was closed. So, we went home, and I bitched about how hungry I was until we fell asleep. On a sidenote, I heard that the BBN car got lost, drove all the way around Springfield, and ended up at the Denny's on Veteran's. Then they got a flat on the drive home, and stopped in the Best Buy parking lot to change it. Apparently, there was a vast line of people queued up for a sale as Beerman barked obsceneties and changed the tire. I only wish I could have been there.

Thursday was spent at my fasha's homestead. It involved my dad's family, our grandma, food, family pictures, and then about and two hours of looking through a suitcase of old photos my grandma brought along. As if that wasn't torture enough afterwards Bryan and I met up with Molly, Gabe, Amber, and Lara to watch Twilight. ...well, it wasn't good. It was highschool drama bullshit infused with vampires and a dash of mythos. Why is that every vampire in this movie looks like they just left the set of a Gap commercial? And what was up with Dr. Carlisle Cullen? He looked like one of the coppertop family? I kept looking for where you put the battery. All in all the story was blah, the directing was sub-par, but the cinematography was good. However, I think the director learned from the Steven Speilberg class of directing: Scenes of People Looking.

Friday was spent eating at mother's. There was a lot of food. It was ummy nummy. I ate till I couldn't move. T'was Glorious! This weekend was spent with friends and family, eating and drinking. Exactly like how my week went. Saturday was spent putting up the christmas tree, and then eating at teh Ginger with friends followed by heading back to Brad's for after-dinner drinks. Sunday was spent consistently getting bumped off of Xbox Live while playing Left 4 Dead, and working on Lacey's computer. However, the Nate called, and informed me that the one and only Bruce Campbell is going to be in Decatur, IL at the Avon Theater tonight promoting his new film My Name is Bruce. So, yeah, I'm going to that. W00T!

In other news I have a new song and a picture to post. The new song is "Do I Disappoint You" by the magnificent Rufus Wainwright, and as far as a picture goes well how about that? The fun-loving Sasha, using only her imagination and a sharpie and reinvisioned my face as an angry cat.

STUFF YOUR FACE!

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 20:15:00 +0000

DO IT!

Cram this in your Dinner!

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:52:00 +0000

Since I posted a halloween video, here's my thanksgiving video. GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!

Back from the Spa and Bearing Film Projects

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 00:40:00 +0000

Well, it's been quite some time, huh? Almost a week? You're probably wondering where I've been. Well, I've been... as they say... "at the spa."

It appears that I missed a photo op on Friday, and today is Muzak Monday. Well, As far as photos go, you can have this one. That's me in Xbox 360 Avatar form. Aren't I a cute little schmeller?

As far as a song goes well, I've added "White Picket Fence" by Jon Purdy. Big thanks to brother Bryan for introducing this song to me. I'm quite the fan. He then went on to propose a music video idea for the song involving zombies. I loved it immediately, of course, and then we got down to work developing it and getting the timing cues down. It'll be a kick ass video once we're done. Oh, for those of you viewing this on Blogger you'll notice that the muzak player is back. You're welcome.

In other projekt newz, last night Evan and I thought up the concept of a gay army, much like the nazi's regime. They'd be goosestepping and all, except with limp-wristed salutes. So, today we developed it more, and plan on shooting a film trailer for a film kind of like gay vision of The Warriors that we're calling Glory Whole. The film focuses around Jeremiah a.k.a. Jerry, and his world generally misunderstanding him that in turn leads to his ostricization. He then falls in with the gayng (see what I did there?), The Kinsey 6. He spirals into a political leader within the gang once reports of gay abolitionist, (whom I don't have a name for yet), start flooding in all over the news. There is murder, suspense, drama, love, and action that eventually lead up to the death of said gay abolitionist, a love story within the gayng, and a call to arms from all gayngs in the area. Gayngs such as La Mariposas, The Dorothies, The Dandy Fops, Buggery Boys, Hog Snogglers & Diesal Dykes, Brosexuals, Milk Maids, Leather Daddies, The Kinsey 6 (of course), Green Carnations, and Yiffies. We want to shoot in the commercial in a gritty pulp fashion, like the trailers shown during Grindhouse. We'd like to know if anyone would be interested in participating in said project. This includes acting and writing. I wouldn't mind bouncing what we have off of some people to get some immediate feedback, and flesh it out.

Left 4 The New Hives Experience

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:40:00 +0000

I've put up some new muzak finally. No thanks to you, Project Playlist. *sneer* My favorite The Hives song is now on teh list, "Diabolic Scheme". Love it! The constant cymbal crashing throughout the song always sends chills down my spine. Fun Fact: Chris & my brother, Brad, made an incredibly spine-tingling lynchian short for this song. If we ask nicely perhaps Chris will post the short. Hmmm? What do you say, little buddy?

Well, in other news Left 4 Dead came out today. I, as of yet, haven't had a chance to play it, but just as soon as I publish this I'll be skipping into the living room gleefully, cutting the cellophane, peeling off the security stickers and anti-theft device, smelling the new plastic, popping it in the 'ol 360, and begin slaying wave after wave of zombies. *squee* In celebration I'm posting this Red Vs Blue PSA about zombies. I hope you have a zombie plan.

P.S. Tomorrow the New Xbox Experience goes public. If you don't have Netflix already, I highly recommend signing up for the $9.99/month account for unlimited Instant Watch hours tonight. Then you'll be ready to soak in game and video all through your 360.

Veggie Mama!

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:36:00 +0000

Ok.... I wanted to add new music today, but Project Playlist is a bitchcake with fuck you icing. It doesn't have any of the songs I want to add... So, how do I solve this problem? Idk. I'll get back to you. I'm running a bit behind right now, and I don't have time for PP shit. (giggle)

So today you get Peta's take on Majesco's cooking game, Cooking Mama. In an attempt to coax you gamers out there to meet your meat, and simultaneously convince Majesco to add vegetarian recipe levels to Cooking Mama, Peta has put out the flash title, Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals. Yeeeeah boy! Now you can and your cursor can pluck, stuff, and cook a virtual turkey! MmmmMMmm... that's good internets. And you can help! If you can stomach the mundane game you'll be rewarded with WALLPAPERS! BANNERS! and VEGETARIAN RECIPES! Wooooooo!

Kill a turkey NOW!

Gears of Halo Theft Auto 5

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:40:00 +0000

This video is rated JO. Jesus Only. Are you holy enough to watch it?

props to Bails for finding this

Coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

So, the NXE is pretty badass. The avatar creation process is a bit seedy, but more options will be available within the coming months. The original dashboard has been condensed to the guide button and all features can be accessed during game or video sessions. The other killer new app of the dashboard is the integration of Netflix. That's right buttonmonkeys! Now, you and your friends, and your family, and your pet dog or cat or hamster or gerbil or fishies or goat can instantly watch any movie from your Netflix Instant View Que right on your Xbox 360! It's cwazy like Wu! Look forward to the New Xbox Experience on Wednesday doagies.

In the New Foto Experience

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:26:00 +0000

I don't have much to say today. It's Friday so time to post a photo from teh Port-A-Phone 3200. Today's pic will be....my hands!

Here are my hands...

Here are my hands on Photoshop. Any questions?

There now that is out of the way I can get on to the big news of today. Today I was sent in invitation from Microsoft informing me that I've be selected to preview the NXE (New Xbox Experience) early. The release date for the upgrade is scheduled for the 19th on November. However, I got access to it today. I'll have more news for you about it tomorrow, but first impressions. Me likey so far.

Oh yeah... expect to hear more about my thoughts on the new Bond movie too.

Edge. Mirror's Edge. Jr.

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:09:00 +0000

Today's Thursday! Hug your neighbor! Scratch your foot! Make a sandwich! Give it to me!

Sick Status: Getting better. However I still can't do the Peppy Hare voice and properly quote "DO A BARREL ROLL!"

I've been emerged in Mirror's Edge ever since I picked it up yesterday. It's a fast, exhilarating, and sometimes frustrating experience. I mention frustrating because the combat takes a bit to get used to, and more often than not you kind of feel like you're a rat in a cage. You run and run from the cops, and then bam! You hit a dead end. You can hear the blues coming up on you. Their shots whizzing by your melon and burrowing into the wall, but you just stand around looking, sometimes jumping against the wall and falling onto your back like a foolish turtle. However, all of that aside this game is one of the most immersive experiences I've ever had in a video game. I'm constantly white-knuckle gripping the controller with sweaty palms. The sense of panic is very real in this game. Oh, and the deaths are very visceral. When you fall the the camera gets shaky as can be, and the sound becomes distorted as the wind bellows past you. A horrific crescendo leading up to a bone-crunching death as the screen goes black. Very nice!

In other news I'm going to take my happy ass to see the midnight premiere of 007:Quantum of Solace tonight. We'll see just how good "the best Bond movie yet" is.

I'm off to the showers! Peace.

I'm the Best. Around!

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:28:00 +0000

No one's ever gonna keep me down! In fact, in celebration of this newly discovered vigor I'm posting a video for *takes a deep breath* Super Street Fighter II HD Remix. Expect this XBLA title to hit the marketplace in time for the premiere of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li movie and launch of Street Fighter 4 the video game. Trim that bonzai, tie on that headband, and don't forget to sweep the leg.

Wooo! That was great, was it not? Let us all take Ryu's words into consideration for a moment...

Well, I saw the doctor today, and the doctor told me, "no more monkeys jumping on my bed." Ok, she didn't, but I always hope they would. Apparently, I've been down with a sinus infection. Go figger. I just awoke from an antibiotic stupper, and I feel a little groggy. I think more juice and soup is in order to get me up to snuff. I'm off for now, but remember....

...YOU WIN!

Tuesday Tunez Left 4 Jesus

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 19:20:00 +0000

Sick Status: Still sick. Seeing the Nurse Practitioner tomorrow.

Once again I'm late on Muzak Monday. I should just rename it Tuesday Tunez, huh? Well, this week's installment is from the world's beloved geek-infused folk singer Jonathan Coulton. We'll be taking in his lovely ballad "Skullcrusher Mountain". A tragic tale about an evil scientist who's own genius won't allow him to love. This song gained the accolades of the "gaming community" and was awarded a slot on the video game Rock Band 2. Enjoy it, won't you?

Moving on!

For those of you that aren't aware the Left 4 Dead demo went live on XBLA for the public today. Grab your controller, and get your grubby little fingers to download it immediately. Trust me. You won't regret it. Just look at the description for the game demo on XBLA. "This Game Rocks. Buy It!" Now now, that's a bit ridiculous, don't you think? However, the game rocks, and you should buy it. :-) There is just no need for such blatant prejudice. Most descriptions for demo titles include a summary of the game with no biased comments. However the demo for Left 4 Dead doesn't even include a summary. Teh hell, Microsoft?

In other news I came across this today and giggled!

Left 4 Kid-Friendly Flix

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 01:59:00 +0000

Sick Status: Still Sick. I'm getting better though. The hourly salt-water gargling is doing miracles. I always hack up something delightful after each wash. Mmmm MMmm.

So, I forgot to post a photo yesterday. Here's one!

Me in my new Member's Only jacket calling the role!

In other news, I tackled an assload of media yesterday. I got down and dirty in the zombocalypse alongside Gabe and Bryan. We ran through the demo for Left 4 Dead a couple times. The demo features two maps from the inner city level. For those of you that don't know each play through is unique. The AI director changes zombie encounters, placement of bosses, music cues, visual cues, and weapon & item placement. So, each time you play through it's different, and it certainly was. You truly have to move and work together in order to survive in this game. Off the top of my head, I can't think of any flaws with the game as of yet. However, keep in mind I have been sick. Oh! I wish there was a way to know what weapon sets your teammates had in order to strategize better. That's it for now.

Other than video games, I went through three great movies. That's right, three! In one day! Oh, it put a grin on my face from sea to shining sea it did. First up was my new Netflix flick, Stay. I wonderfully jarring romp through the cracks that lie between living and dying. This flick also has some great star power behind it with Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts, and Ryan Gosling. Next I watched the David Mamet flick, Redbelt. A film about testing the limits of staying honorable and the way of the samurai. This film, like most of Mamet's, is pretty great, and doesn't dissapoint. After that Molly came over, and we watched The Last Mimzy, a great children's flick. It beckons me back to my youth of pouring my eyes over such flicks as The Explorers and Inner Space. So, I decided to make a list of kid-friendly movies. There are of course some requirements to be met to be included in this list.

Kid-Friendly Flicks: Rules & Regulations
1. No excessive violence
2. It must inspire individuals to be great in way or another
3. A good moral is a plus, but not always required

Ok, well, here is the list of films I came up with so far. Tell me what you think, and if you have any suggestions to add to it. Oh, I also tried, at best to leave seasonal flicks such as The Santa Clause out of it. Those are put into a seasonal/holiday category in my head.

The Last Mimzy
Secondhand Lions
Jumanji
Zathura
Inner Space
The Explorers
Shrek
Wizard of Oz
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
The Lion King
Finding Nemo
Toy Story
E.T. the Extra-Terrestial
The Last Starfighter
The Neverending Story
Labyrinth
Star Wars
Alice in Wonderland
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
The Princess Bride
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Horton Hears A Who
Peter Pan
The Incredibles
Iron Giant
Monster House
Monsters Inc.
Spirited Away
The Fox & The Hound
Aladdin
Fern Gully

Well, that's all I got. Thoughts?

Living for Zombies

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 03:07:00 +0000

I'm still sick! I'm pretty sure it's a sinus infection. I nearly lost my voice last night, and again today. However, I've been gargling salt water every hour ,15 minutes past, and in a few years I'm going to be bigger and stronger, and my skin will clear up, and my lanky body will be sculpted into that of a God. I'll save the world with song, and turn you on with my smile. You'll find me curing lepers on the weekends, and making babies in the morning. I'll be stocked, dropped, and ready to go at a moment's whisper. However, for now, seeing as I pre-ordered Left 4 Dead, I have access to the demo early, and if you want to talk to me you'll have to peel my white-knuckled fingers off the trigger and tear me away from my trail of zombie devastation.

Peace, love, and peanut butter M&Ms!

Living on the Mirror's Edge

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 01:20:00 +0000

Here is the final gameplay trailer for Mirror's Edge. Watch it, and then frantically run out and pre-order the game. All pre-orders from Gamestop come with a nifty yellow messenger bag just like the one Faith uses in the game. Fan boys start your drooling.

Whatchu Girl Talkin' 'Bout?

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:57:00 +0000

Well, as it turns out I survived Girl Talk! Yay! That's not saying that I almost died in the process. So, I was sick from the get-go, and when I get there what do I do? I start drinking. Of course. It's a concert. How can you NOT drink at a concert. Anywho, After a pitcher or two the first opening act finally came on stage half an hour late. A band called Krak Attack. Two muscular colored gentlemen obviously in love with each other and can't face the facts. All of their songs are about girl's bootys when I think in fact they are secretly about their desires for each other's bootys. On all three screens it was nothing but big girls bending over with exposed crackular linings, and of course them jumping around on stage like monkeys. Then they called about 15 girls on stage to expose their cracks to the audience. It was at this point that I stepped outside because I couldn't take it anymore.

After coming back inside. We waited another forty minutes for a set change. That's right forty minutes! Now, we aren't talking about setting up sound for and instruments for an 8 man band. The following band, The Death Set, was two kids with guitars, and a guy with a 5 piece drum kit. Their name was appropriate though because I actually wanted to kill anyone who got in my way of leaving the venue so I wouldn't have to be assaulted by what they considered music. Essentially, if you did a lot of crack, copped an attitude like The Hives, and then played a song, and then played your instruments quite horribly over the popular song you would have a rough estimation of what The Death Set sounds like.

Another twenty minutes or so pass, and I exchange words about my MST3K jacket with about three of four other gents. Then Girl Talk came on stage. A scrawny little white guy with long brown hair, a beard, and a headband. He walked up to his mixer, and went to town. Right as he started everyone went nuts. The whole place was literally hopping. He started letting everyone up on stage too. All through out the show I kept watching all the girls try to cozy up to him, and the huge bodyguard that stood next to him with his arm exposed in a vein attempt to protect him from the clammering females.

Needless to say, everyone lost about 10 pounds throughout the course of his set. My brother, Brad, befriended a little adorable girl, and then they snuck off somewhere. Then five minutes later I see them both up on stage with the bopping masses. When I talked to him later, apparently, she sweet talked the guard to get them in, and then as soon as they were up there she went loco and started screaming at Brad about something. So, he let her go, and enjoyed his stay up there.

About an hour in, I think, some of the equipment busted, and there was a recess to fix it. Then he was going back on stage. It was at that point we decided to leave. My body was starting to feel the pain from the drinks, the dehydration, the few smokes, I had, and the sickness. My brother stayed for the rest of the set, and I heard it was good. Molly and I went home, got Steak N Shake, ate it, felt horrible, and then fell asleep.

All in all, Girl Talk is awesome. However, not necessarily the most impressive in concert. Sure, he spun his mixes in non-album order, but there wasn't anything particularly great about the live show other then throbbing and gasping for air while bouncing back-to-back with everyone else there.

Girl Talking about Obama. Shut chur mouth!

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:48:00 +0000

This'll be short because as of right now I'm down with the sickness. I've been medicated for the past couple days because I have Girl Talk to attend tonight. With any luck I'll survive Girl Talk and not slip into an ill-ridden coma for the weekend. *fingers crossed* In other news, a big congratulations goes out to my man, Obama! Yeeeaaaaa, boi!

Girl Talking about Vote Riffing

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:00:00 +0000

So, as we all know tomorrow is Election Day. GO VOTE!

Now, that I've said that let us move on. I'm sure that some of you out there have heard of the greatest television show ever made, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Well, As some of you also know Michael J. Nelson has been continuing the tradition with Rifftrax, and Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbet have been gathering for The Film Crew. I'm huge fans of both. Well, thanks to my friend Evan unearthing rumors of MST3K performing live at St. Louis, I've discovered Cinematic Titanic. Cinematic Titanic is the original cast of MST3K; Joel Hodgson (creator/Joel), Josh Weinstein (Tom Servo/Dr. Erhardt), Trace Beaulieu (Crow/Dr. Forrester), Frank Conniff (TV's Frank), and Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester). It's just like MST3K. They rip on great old classics. Don't worry they tackle yet another Roger Corman film. Anywhoozle, the great thing about Cinematic Titanic is that they do their shows live and sell them on DVD. I don't think the live shows are the ones sold, but they perform their DVD's live. Yeah, the latter sounds better. Let's go with that. If anyone is interested they are going to be at the Lakeshore Theater in Chicago, IL from 12/18 to 12/20. You can definitely expect me at one of the shows. Either on the 18th or the 20th. All ticket info can be found on their website.

http://www.cinematictitanic.com/

In other news it's New Muzak Monday! Now, for those reading this on blogger I still haven't looked at working the kinks out of the music player so you can find me on myspace @ http://www.myspace.com/3kalb. Well, if you don't know Girl Talk is playing at The Canopy Club in Champaign on Wednesday. As of now it's a sold out show. Sorry, folks. However, I will be there getting spun. To celebrate I'm going to add an excerpt from his new album (Feed The Animals) "Hands In The Air". Dig on it, and wish you could make it to the show.

Up Up Down Down...

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 23:25:00 +0000

So, Halloween was a blast! I arrived at my brother's party just in time to see Carl and Sweeney "Barnaby Jones" Todd. I drank too much liquor and beer, and smoked too many cigarettes. Then when I woke up I discovered that Molly and I had picked up Steak N Shake on our way home, and she asked for a large container of fries, which if you're not aware you could carry a baby in. Honestly, I think they just took a sack of potatoes, made fries out of them, and poured them into a box for us. Needless to say I hurt this morning, but I looked OH SO GOOD last night!

On the Edge

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 16:43:00 +0000

For those of you with a Playstation 3 or Xbox 360 I command you to download the Mirror's Edge demo now. It's out. It's awesome.

Imagine a world, not unlike our own, controlled by the few, and you, you're a runner. You traverse the city via rooftop and liberate the masses by transporting information off the grid. This game puts you in control of a runner named Faith. In a first-person view you will wall run, leap from buildings, zipline over streets, and fight your way through the city. Peep this trailer for more.

Obama & Palin rock the virtual battlefield!

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:14:00 +0000

In this video you'll see Barack Obama and Sarah Palin as they kick ass through Mercenaries 2. This is no joke. They are being added to the game via download. Granted, I don't play the game, and never will, but this is still fun.

Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Who's got the pumpkin?

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 14:21:00 +0000

Happy Halloweenie interwebernet! Today is Foto Phriday, and have I got some photos for you... pumpkin photos. Let's carve this bitch!

Ok, so first up are photos of the pumpkins that Molly and I carved. First in light, then in dark. As you can see Molly did Jack Skellington and I did the infamous text smiley. w00t w00t

Next up is a house that's not too far from my place. This guy has a ton of pumpkins, and at first I thought they were all hand carved, and placed outside, but they aren't. They're all plastic, but they still look cool.

And to end our pumpkin madness I have a video I'd like to show everyone. Now, every year about this time I have talked about this video online in one way or another so it would just seem silly to break tradition now. This is the best short film I've ever seen about a pumpkin. It is called "Life and Death of a Pumpkin." Enjoy. Freedom!

In other news, for those of you that don't know I was able to submit an application for the early NXE (New Xbox Experience) preview program, and today the invitation e-mails of those selected were mailed out. Unfortunately, I didn't get one. *big tear* I guess I'll just have to wait till November 19th with the rest of the savages.

Zombocalypse!

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:45:00 +0000

New "Left 4 Dead" trailer has me craving!

Birds & Brooks or How I Learned to Fear and Respect the Army Surplus

noreply@blogger.com (3kalb) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:24:00 +0000

Well, today has been a busy one. I've been running around all day yesterday and today getting my costume ready for tomorrow. Oooohs I'm extracited, y'alls! Yesterday I went to the Birds & Brooks Army Surplus store off 6th Street, and boy were they nice. Creepy nice even. As soon as I walked in the tall, skinny, acne ridden register jockey sporting fatigues asked if he could help me. I mentioned that I needed pants. He asked if they were for a costume, and I said yes. He took me over the pants, and then helped me size up. Apparently, in Army the waist for pants is small, medium, and large, and the length is short, medium, and long. I'm a large medium if you're wondering. It's my lingering food baby fat. Then he directed me to the dressing room, and instructed me to try them on before buying. I tried on quite a few different kinds of pants before deciding on a pair of fatigues. While, I was sorting through pants PFC Registerald Jockey walked throughout the store and handed individually wrapped lifesaver mints to everyone. As I mentioned before, creepy nice. As I was there a patron was looking to purchase an AK-47. Oooohh, it looked like fun. You know, interweb, I've never fired a gun, but I have an increasing fetish with them. It may be time to get my FOID and hit up a firing range. When I left, PFC Jockey, told me to have a nice day, of course, and then he said, "we look forward to seeing you again." Then he said, "they always come back." Which was kind of creepy AND funny.

Today, I hit up the Toys 'R Us, and found the perfect gun for the ensemble. I just finished taking it apart for a paint job which I'll do later tonight. There were about 20 baby screws hiding in that damned thing. I blistered my finger getting them out too. Not only were they screwed in, but they were glued on the tips. It's ok though, this costume will be worth all the pain.

That's about it. Today is Costume-Creation-and-Alteration day, or "CC&A Day" because yesterday was Gathering-Materials-for-Costume day, or "GMC Day". I still have quite a bit costume work to do. So, I am off like an Audi jimmy dress on prom day eating cake!