Bite My Shiny Metal Return To Television!

It's back! Well, not yet, but soon. Ok, not soon, but in 2008. What's back? Oh, why Futurama is back. Gluh! TV Squad reports that Comedy Central has signed on for 13 new episodes of the futuristic Simpsons darling.

Apparently, Katey Sagal, the voice of Leela, a.k.a. Peg Bundy, was recently on The Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson and she let the news slip. John DiMaggio, later confirmed, with a comment on the TV Squad post of the show's return, that the cast is heading into the studio in July to start recording for the new episodes.

YES!

They Say It's My Birthday

Happy Birthday to me! That's right, today, June 23rd, is my, 3kalb's, berfday! DIGGIT!

I would like to thank Greg for helping me decide what I truly want for my birthday; a singing president. ROCK!

Rock out with your Bush out!

I Can't Find My Friend

New Friend Alert!

Pandering to Savages has been added to our illustrious list of links to places to waste even more of your precious life away. This guy, Greg Klein, can spin a yarn, AND prune a sheep, AND knit a sweater! So, CHECK HIM OUT! Also, I've partied with him so he deserves a link... OF MY SAUSAGE!

Nobody's Watching Nobody's Watching

Apparently, some of the writers from Zach Braff's Scrubs and Seth MacFarlane's Family Guy got together to pitch a new show entitled "Nobody's Watching". The concept of the show is that two friends, Will and Derrick, who love tv sitcoms are flown in from Union, Ohio to WB, Hollywood in order to create a sitcom for the WB. It plays like a parody of tv taboos and reality shows. Essentially, the cameras follow around these two vidiots and attempt to capture their emotions whilst they interact with their dream of being in Hollywood. They live on familiar sound stages. Even Central Perk from Friends is featured. The producer attempts to manipulate the two characters into emoting for the studio audience, but usually comes off looking like a jackass.

I think the concept is interesting and could be really entertaining after worn in for a season. The pilot is good, but not as punch funny as Scrubs or Family Guy. But, don't take my word for it. *Buh Dum DUM* See for yourself. YouTube has them featured, and I've copied them. Mwaa ha ha ha! It's divided into three parts so you'll just have to deal with it.


1.

2.

3.


What do you, the viewers at home, think?

A Late Night Father's Day With Bob Saget

To celebrate Daddy Day I figured I'd offer up a big heaping serving of Bob Saget. He'll keep you on the straight and narrow. Far away from those strangers with candy. He'll hook you up with the good shit, and if you're lucky you might even get to touch his penis. So, I'm dedicating this Father's Day and this post to Bob Saget. Here's a big hardon salute to the man, the myth, and the filthy mouth. So that you can feel a bit closer to the Danny Tanner I've posted the three finalist videos for America's Funniest G-Rated TV Dad.

Also, I know that Hauz has a great Bob Saget story to tell. It's a story he heard from Paul Provenza during the SIU premiere of The Aristocrats. I'm sure if we all ask him really nicely he'll post it for everyone to read. Come on, Hauz, show some love for Saget by spreading his filthy humor.

And the nominees are...

1.
"Penis First"

2.
"Danny Tanner Was Not Gay"

3.
"Rollin' With Saget"
Props to Au$10 for finding this one.

Please lock in your votes now.

I'm Talking Cats, Man!

Now this ain't no catman. No catsuit here. These cats are going to tell you how it is. In words you can understand. HIT IT!

I'd like to share that this video tugs at my heart. You see, last night I had a dream. A dream with a cat. A cat that talked. He was lazy and sarcastic, and we hung out all the time. Just him and I. We'd watch tv together and make fun of people together. We also got drunk together. I miss that dream. I'll never forget you awesome cat.



Props to Hauz for finding this.

You're A Cigarette!

Peep these Clerks 2 trailers, cocksmokers! Be at your local theater July 21st to see it all!
The 1st one is my favorite.

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2.

3.

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More...
Clerks 2 website

Song And Dance From YouTube

SONG.



DANCE.

Evil Bear For Sell

Big soft cuddly teddy bear. Needs good home. Did I mention that it's possessed? Yeah. This big ol' softy is hardened by the forces of evil and pure putrid hate. He'll drive your girlfriend crazy, kill your cat, decapitate your other childhood stuffed animals, and then once he's destroyed everything you love in your life he'll come after you with a kitchen knife. And you can have him for about $350 on eBay. No joke. However, you better hurry because the auction ends in 2 days.

This guy has spun this incredible "possessed evil bear" back story for this one item, a mangy ol' teddy bear with no eyes. BUT, it's working. The auction is already up to about $360. Now, I've done some thinking and this is an ingenious tactic. Take a regular item, and give the people a huge backstory for it. Make the item into something more. I'm sure a couple pages of creativity and a piece of junk you don't want is worth about $200 plus.

Check out his eBay auction for the entire backstory. The real joy is reading the questions that people have left for this auction.

If the auction goes down I've provided his backstory in a .txt file for Download.

Evil Bear eBay Auction.txt
Evil Bear eBay Auction Questions.txt

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More...
The wonderful world of eBay - What We All Want (props to Au$10 for alerting me to this)
Large Stuffed Bear - Haunted/Demonic Presence - eBay Auction
Knife-wielding devil teddy bear rampages through eBay - The Register

"I Need A Weapon"

So, last night my girlfriend calls me up and has me look at the moon. I looked at it, but there were alot of clouds far up in the atmoshpere that blurred it. She said that where she was, about 20 miles north of my location, she and her friend could see a big ring around the moon. She wanted to know if I knew what it was or what caused it. I had never heard of such so I assumed that perhaps it was a planet behind the moon. She guessed that it could be moonlight refracted. Well, this morning I checked into it. She was right.

Rings around the moon, or Lunar Halos, are caused by Moonlight that is being refracted from six-sided ice crystals looming in cirrus clouds high in the atmosphere. The halos have diameters of 22 degrees, and sometimes there could be a second halo with a diameter of 44 degrees.

Lunar Halos also foretell bad weather, such as storms. Why is that? Well, the nature of high altitude cirrus clouds is that they usually precede an oncoming warm front by one or two days. Warm fronts are associated with low pressure systems, which are.... storms. It is believed that the number of stars located within the halo indicate how many days before the storm.

Solar Halos can also occur in the same manner.

Your Phone's Ringing, Dude

The New York Times has an article about phantom rings/ringxiety. It delves into why we think we hear phones ring during tv commercials, while water is running, when a car passes by, or anytime. This has happened to me far too often. I'll be playing a game, like I usually do, and then I hear my phone ring. (My ringtone is a pretty shoddy .midi of the theme from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.) So I leave the game to check my phone, and no one has called. It's annoying, and very commonplace in this day and age. It also turns out that sounds around 1,000 hertz are very difficult for humans to locate. That's a fun fact, eh? What are some of your phantom ring stories?

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More...
I Hear Ringing snd There's No One Around. I Wonder Why - The New York Times

Bark At The Moon!

Do you like guitars? Do you like heroes? Well, grab yourself a PS2 and Guitar Hero, and rock hard! That's what I've been doing. This game will keep the PS2 alive for quite sometime. Even after the next gens (Wii, 360, and PS3) are out and ready to consume the consumers. Guitar Hero will still be rawkin' on PS2. This game also includes a little guitar controller with 5 fret buttons, a strum bar, and a whammy bar. However, the best part is the star power! The guitar has a built in tilt sensor, and once you've acquired so much star power, you crank your guitar vertically like a rockstar and pump up the point multiplyer.

This game is however missing a few things, and one of them is an online leaderboard so that you can compare your scores with others around the world. That's why ScoreHero.com is here. Just play your song, upload your stats and compare. This program has some great features too. You can download a ScoreHero spreadsheet and input your scores, and then upload your spreadsheet to the page for multiple score uploads. The only thing this site is missing right now is a "friends" option. I would love to be able to add my friends who play, and compare my scores with just them on a page. If you stop by ScoreHero.com check out me, 3kalb, Gabe, hauz20, and Evan, ONE. Also, if you're one of the fotunates to have Guitar Hero and are posting on ScoreHero.com leave your username in the comments and we'll compare stats, y'all!

While you're here check out this incredible video of this Guitar Hero pwning "Cowboys From Hell" on Expert. Check out his fancy fingerwork and fill your shorts with frothy goodness. This video gets insane towards the latter half of the song.

Slutty Puppies Mirror

Wiiiiiiiiiii

In case you don't know by now, but I'm sure you do, Nintendo's Revolution is now called Wii, but why? Hmmm... Why indeed? First, the trailer for Wii.





And now what Nintendo officially has to say about their name selection.

"Introducing … Wii.
As in “we.”
While the code-name “Revolution” expressed our direction, Wii represents the answer.
Wii will break down that wall that separates video game players from everybody else.
Wii will put people more in touch with their games … and each other. But you’re probably asking: What does the name mean?
Wii sounds like “we,” which emphasizes this console is for everyone.
Wii can easily be remembered by people around the world, no matter what language they speak. No confusion. No need to abbreviate. Just Wii.
Wii has a distinctive “ii” spelling that symbolizes both the unique controllers and the image of people gathering to play.
And Wii, as a name and a console, brings something revolutionary to the world of video games that sets it apart from the crowd.
So that’s Wii. But now Nintendo needs you.
Because, it’s really not about your or me.
It’s about Wii.
And together, Wii will change everything."

It's cute and clever, eh? Yeah. Whatever it's called, Wii, Mee, Youu, it's still going to kick ass.

In celebration, or subtle defamation, of Nintendo's official name for their new console
YTMND.com has some great pages to offer. Here's a couple of my favorites.

Kramer likes to Wii!

Wii!!! (Gonads and Strife) (refresh?)

Slutty Puppies Mirror