Welp, I'm sick again, and that means I'm back on my diet of juice, soup, and ever-gargling with salt water. I was starting to think I had diabetes for a moment there, because it runs rampant in my family, and it's only a matter of time. However, mi madre came over and tested my blood sugar and blood pressure. They both check out. So, now my option is either I've somehow magically contracted the HIVy or I'm akin to Mr. Glass except with diseases. I was thinking the kids could call me The Bug Collector.
In other news the tickets for Cinematic Titanic came in. I'm scheduled to see them on the 20th of this month at the Lakeshore Theater in Chi-town. There is a bit of a problem though. My friend, Ian, now can not go for reasons beyond his control. Now I have a proposition to all of you. If anyone is interested in going with us the ticket is $45. Don't worry I won't charge you with gas fees. At the moment we're pretty flexible on whether or not we're crashing someplace in Chicago. It all depends on the party members' work schedules the following day. Now, if you are a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 I would highly recommend this. Cinematic Titanic is the original cast and crew from the first iteration of the show. That is Joel Hodgson (MST3K creator and Joel Robinson), Josh "Elvis" Weinstein (Tom Servo & Dr. Erhardt), Frank Conniff (TV's Frank), Trace Beaulieu (Crow & Dr. Forrester), and Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester) all get together and riff on a movie live. This is quite honestly a once in a lifetime show. They've only done it a few times, and who knows how long their touring days will last. For more information check out the CINEMATIC TITANIC website. Well, if you're interested get a hold of me!
Wednesday, December 3
Tuesday, December 2
The Tenacious Bruce
Ok, gang I got kind of a long one today.... (that's what he said. BAM!) Don't encourage me.
First thing's first, last night was... AWESOME! First of all I don't go to Decatur a lot, and for good reason. Something always happens when I go there. Not something good or bad, just something frustrating I suppose, but in the end it's usually good. Anywhoozle, I head to the Decatur last night to see Bruce "The Chin" Campbell hock his new movie. You know the one he directed and starred in as himself, My Name Is Bruce. So, I head out around 4:30-ish, and after getting gas and dropping off my rent check I run right into traffic. I honestly should have seen this one coming, but visions of chins danced in my head instead. I end up missing my exact, because there were about three semis squabbling over the lanes like little girls, and because of that I couldn't get over to get off, yet alone see the sign to my exit. Before I know it I'm passing Sherman. I frantically call up the Molly, and she then tells me the best course of action is to turn around and just start over. G'ah! So, I did it. I found my exit the second time around. Thank the makers, but not of semis. Then I end up playing phonetag with Natey on the drive down until I make to teh Decatur.
I'm about an hour behind. It's ohhhh 6-ish when I make it to town, and the doors to the theater opened at 6, and the show started at 8. So, because of the lovely snow the other night once I get into Decatur all of the signs are snowed over, and I can't read any of them. I phone up Nate again and ask for landmarks to make my way to The Woods, where he resides. The plan was to get a bite to eat, once I got into town and then head to the theater. I park in the lot of the Jimmy John's, and Nate and Megan meet me there. The Megan departs for class as Nate and I grab a sammich, and then sneak into her apartment to eat, because aparantly this Jimmy John's doesn't even have one table for sitting.
After scarfing down the sammiches and chugging a root beer we head to the theater. Previously, I had thought about looking up directions to the theater, but then I figured, "N'ahhh. Nate's been here long enough. I'm sure he knows where it is." I couldn't have been more wrong. We left Megan's around 6:45-ish and then drove around for a good 20-25 minutes looking for the Avon. After a phone call and a text message we found it. Thank the makers, but not of semis. The tickets were waiting for me at the door, and after procurring twizzlers and a bladder busting soft drink we head into the theater. My god. You could just smell cheese and bacon everywhere. It was like someone fried up loneliness and desperation and then let it sit under a heatlamp for five hours. Nate and I played musical chairs a good number of times before finding a good set of seats that wasn't dripping with that awful stench and was not directly behind fat greasy hair or fat shaggy hair. It was about 40 minutes till the show started that all the real winners started flooding in. I mean real class-A mouth breathers with hiked up pants, taped glasses, and pockmarked faces. Twenty minutes till showtime, and we had an empty seat next to me. We were almost home free. Then it happened.
"Is this seat taken?" The huge sweaty ogre todting a literal tub of popcorn and a drum of soda exhaled.
"No. Take a seat" I replied. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Why oh why did I let him sit down? Why didn't I tell him it was taken? Damn Damn Damn Fuck!
The lingering odar of his trough of cheddar cheese popcorn combined with the overwhelming stench of his failing deoderant under that parka of his about made me vomit. The dweebtastic neo-loser even brought a DVD and a book for Bruce Campbell to sign when it was clearly stated that there would be no signing, just a Q&A afterwards. He kept butting into the nonsensical conversations Nate & I were having as well. Just like that pathetic kid in highschool who has no appreciation for himself, but wants to be a part of the group so he just stands around intergects his opinion when it's quite clear that NO ONE CARES. Poor guy. I felt bad for him, but at the same time I didn't like the idea of our elbows rubbing each other as he chortled and scarfed down that vomit corn during the movie. The whole time I was thinking, "Man, if only I wasn't unsure about ticket availability. Then Roger would be here, and I could be rubbing elbows with them. Damn you Decatur!"
Finally the movie started after some lame jokes from the proprietor of the Avon Theater, Skip Huston, and some even lamer remarks from my new elbow mate. I must say this movie was fan-fucking-tastic! Bruce Campbell at his best if you ask me. Honestly, if you thought he couldn't top his performance in Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness, or even the widely acclaimed Bubba Ho-Tep then you need to see Bruce strut his stuff in this flick. I would tell you the premise, but why don't you just watch the trailer instead. BAM!
Ok, so the trailer is pretty bad. I admit, after seeing the trailer I wasn't expecting much from the movie, but boy were my expectations blown out of the water... HARD! This movie was simply fun and funny with guns, chinese demons, music, transgendered hookers, cave aliens, and Bruce Campbell! Is there really any way to top that? I don't think so. Ok... here's another way of putting it this movie is like Bubba Ho-Tep except instead of a geriatric Elvis and geezer who thinks he is JFK we just have Bruce Campbell. Yeah. It's kind of like that. Awesome, right? I knew you'd see it my way.
So, after the movie was over the man, the myth, the chin himself came out to field questions... or for the first 10 minutes or so lack thereof. This is the fourth time I've got to see Bruce Campbell, and I must say if you ever get the oppurtunity to you should. He's just such a delight. Always in good spirits, and always making fun of everyone, but everyone loves him so he can't be faulted. Some questioneer stated she was from Missouri, and Bruce exclaimed, "Missouri?! Well, then I better... sloooow... dooown... for... you. Do you mosey in Missouri? (in his best podunk accent) I'm just gonna mosey on down to the store." As he hunched his back and slowly walked across the stage. "What do you do in Missouri?" Then he continued in his southern drawl, "We hunt and screw. What are you hunting? Something to screw." He did all of this while she waited patiently to ask him a question. It was a hoot. That's all he did was poke fun at the yokels in Decatur, and their ancient bean-counting economy. Oh yeah, he made fun of Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst too. What a riot! However, as previously stated, it was all in good fun. After he fielded questions for ohhhh probably 45 minutes or so, if not an hour, he left the stage. As he got into his car and took off, the ushers kept everyone in theater just in case anyone got the wise idea of hunting down the Bruce.
So, that's what I did last night. (In my best intimidating James McAvoy voice, which no matter how you cut out sounds like a 12 year old boy begging for candy) What the fuck did you do?
In gaming news the dynamic duo Tenacious D will be on xbox live tomorrow between 6 & 9PM playing Rock Band 2. They are throwing up open challenges to friendly rock offs tomorrow. If anyone is interested you must add their GamerTags: JBTenacious and KGTenacious at least half an hour before the event, so that's by 5:30PM, and then be online during the event. Do it!
First thing's first, last night was... AWESOME! First of all I don't go to Decatur a lot, and for good reason. Something always happens when I go there. Not something good or bad, just something frustrating I suppose, but in the end it's usually good. Anywhoozle, I head to the Decatur last night to see Bruce "The Chin" Campbell hock his new movie. You know the one he directed and starred in as himself, My Name Is Bruce. So, I head out around 4:30-ish, and after getting gas and dropping off my rent check I run right into traffic. I honestly should have seen this one coming, but visions of chins danced in my head instead. I end up missing my exact, because there were about three semis squabbling over the lanes like little girls, and because of that I couldn't get over to get off, yet alone see the sign to my exit. Before I know it I'm passing Sherman. I frantically call up the Molly, and she then tells me the best course of action is to turn around and just start over. G'ah! So, I did it. I found my exit the second time around. Thank the makers, but not of semis. Then I end up playing phonetag with Natey on the drive down until I make to teh Decatur.
I'm about an hour behind. It's ohhhh 6-ish when I make it to town, and the doors to the theater opened at 6, and the show started at 8. So, because of the lovely snow the other night once I get into Decatur all of the signs are snowed over, and I can't read any of them. I phone up Nate again and ask for landmarks to make my way to The Woods, where he resides. The plan was to get a bite to eat, once I got into town and then head to the theater. I park in the lot of the Jimmy John's, and Nate and Megan meet me there. The Megan departs for class as Nate and I grab a sammich, and then sneak into her apartment to eat, because aparantly this Jimmy John's doesn't even have one table for sitting.
After scarfing down the sammiches and chugging a root beer we head to the theater. Previously, I had thought about looking up directions to the theater, but then I figured, "N'ahhh. Nate's been here long enough. I'm sure he knows where it is." I couldn't have been more wrong. We left Megan's around 6:45-ish and then drove around for a good 20-25 minutes looking for the Avon. After a phone call and a text message we found it. Thank the makers, but not of semis. The tickets were waiting for me at the door, and after procurring twizzlers and a bladder busting soft drink we head into the theater. My god. You could just smell cheese and bacon everywhere. It was like someone fried up loneliness and desperation and then let it sit under a heatlamp for five hours. Nate and I played musical chairs a good number of times before finding a good set of seats that wasn't dripping with that awful stench and was not directly behind fat greasy hair or fat shaggy hair. It was about 40 minutes till the show started that all the real winners started flooding in. I mean real class-A mouth breathers with hiked up pants, taped glasses, and pockmarked faces. Twenty minutes till showtime, and we had an empty seat next to me. We were almost home free. Then it happened.
"Is this seat taken?" The huge sweaty ogre todting a literal tub of popcorn and a drum of soda exhaled.
"No. Take a seat" I replied. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Why oh why did I let him sit down? Why didn't I tell him it was taken? Damn Damn Damn Fuck!
The lingering odar of his trough of cheddar cheese popcorn combined with the overwhelming stench of his failing deoderant under that parka of his about made me vomit. The dweebtastic neo-loser even brought a DVD and a book for Bruce Campbell to sign when it was clearly stated that there would be no signing, just a Q&A afterwards. He kept butting into the nonsensical conversations Nate & I were having as well. Just like that pathetic kid in highschool who has no appreciation for himself, but wants to be a part of the group so he just stands around intergects his opinion when it's quite clear that NO ONE CARES. Poor guy. I felt bad for him, but at the same time I didn't like the idea of our elbows rubbing each other as he chortled and scarfed down that vomit corn during the movie. The whole time I was thinking, "Man, if only I wasn't unsure about ticket availability. Then Roger would be here, and I could be rubbing elbows with them. Damn you Decatur!"
Finally the movie started after some lame jokes from the proprietor of the Avon Theater, Skip Huston, and some even lamer remarks from my new elbow mate. I must say this movie was fan-fucking-tastic! Bruce Campbell at his best if you ask me. Honestly, if you thought he couldn't top his performance in Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness, or even the widely acclaimed Bubba Ho-Tep then you need to see Bruce strut his stuff in this flick. I would tell you the premise, but why don't you just watch the trailer instead. BAM!
Ok, so the trailer is pretty bad. I admit, after seeing the trailer I wasn't expecting much from the movie, but boy were my expectations blown out of the water... HARD! This movie was simply fun and funny with guns, chinese demons, music, transgendered hookers, cave aliens, and Bruce Campbell! Is there really any way to top that? I don't think so. Ok... here's another way of putting it this movie is like Bubba Ho-Tep except instead of a geriatric Elvis and geezer who thinks he is JFK we just have Bruce Campbell. Yeah. It's kind of like that. Awesome, right? I knew you'd see it my way.
So, after the movie was over the man, the myth, the chin himself came out to field questions... or for the first 10 minutes or so lack thereof. This is the fourth time I've got to see Bruce Campbell, and I must say if you ever get the oppurtunity to you should. He's just such a delight. Always in good spirits, and always making fun of everyone, but everyone loves him so he can't be faulted. Some questioneer stated she was from Missouri, and Bruce exclaimed, "Missouri?! Well, then I better... sloooow... dooown... for... you. Do you mosey in Missouri? (in his best podunk accent) I'm just gonna mosey on down to the store." As he hunched his back and slowly walked across the stage. "What do you do in Missouri?" Then he continued in his southern drawl, "We hunt and screw. What are you hunting? Something to screw." He did all of this while she waited patiently to ask him a question. It was a hoot. That's all he did was poke fun at the yokels in Decatur, and their ancient bean-counting economy. Oh yeah, he made fun of Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst too. What a riot! However, as previously stated, it was all in good fun. After he fielded questions for ohhhh probably 45 minutes or so, if not an hour, he left the stage. As he got into his car and took off, the ushers kept everyone in theater just in case anyone got the wise idea of hunting down the Bruce.
So, that's what I did last night. (In my best intimidating James McAvoy voice, which no matter how you cut out sounds like a 12 year old boy begging for candy) What the fuck did you do?
In gaming news the dynamic duo Tenacious D will be on xbox live tomorrow between 6 & 9PM playing Rock Band 2. They are throwing up open challenges to friendly rock offs tomorrow. If anyone is interested you must add their GamerTags: JBTenacious and KGTenacious at least half an hour before the event, so that's by 5:30PM, and then be online during the event. Do it!
Monday, December 1
Remembering T-Day
It was quite the T-day my friends. Wednesday was spent with my old roommate, Gabe, my brother Bryan, and their girls Amber & Lara. Then Molly came over after she got off work. We drank, and karaoked, and rock banded. Then they all left, and Molly and I were alone... and I was buzzin'. Earlier Brad suggested we come over. So, Molly and I head over to his place. She drove, of course. Once we got there we drank some more! With fellows such as the Chris, the Dylan, the Brad, the Nate, the Bailey, and Mr. Hollywood. Towards the end of the night we left off the fire extinquisher for no reason at all, yelled at a slut through a window, made it snow all over Chris' car with said extinquisher and then proceeded to carve lewd suggestions and perverted visages through the extinquisher dust onto Chris' car. After that was said and done Molly and I went to Steak N Shake to hate life. We thought a carful of Beerman, Bailey, and Nate was behind us, but it wasn't. However, once we got to S 'N S it was closed. So, we went home, and I bitched about how hungry I was until we fell asleep. On a sidenote, I heard that the BBN car got lost, drove all the way around Springfield, and ended up at the Denny's on Veteran's. Then they got a flat on the drive home, and stopped in the Best Buy parking lot to change it. Apparently, there was a vast line of people queued up for a sale as Beerman barked obsceneties and changed the tire. I only wish I could have been there.
Thursday was spent at my fasha's homestead. It involved my dad's family, our grandma, food, family pictures, and then about and two hours of looking through a suitcase of old photos my grandma brought along. As if that wasn't torture enough afterwards Bryan and I met up with Molly, Gabe, Amber, and Lara to watch Twilight. ...well, it wasn't good. It was highschool drama bullshit infused with vampires and a dash of mythos. Why is that every vampire in this movie looks like they just left the set of a Gap commercial? And what was up with Dr. Carlisle Cullen? He looked like one of the coppertop family? I kept looking for where you put the battery. All in all the story was blah, the directing was sub-par, but the cinematography was good. However, I think the director learned from the Steven Speilberg class of directing: Scenes of People Looking.
Friday was spent eating at mother's. There was a lot of food. It was ummy nummy. I ate till I couldn't move. T'was Glorious! This weekend was spent with friends and family, eating and drinking. Exactly like how my week went. Saturday was spent putting up the christmas tree, and then eating at teh Ginger with friends followed by heading back to Brad's for after-dinner drinks. Sunday was spent consistently getting bumped off of Xbox Live while playing Left 4 Dead, and working on Lacey's computer. However, the Nate called, and informed me that the one and only Bruce Campbell is going to be in Decatur, IL at the Avon Theater tonight promoting his new film My Name is Bruce. So, yeah, I'm going to that. W00T!
In other news I have a new song and a picture to post. The new song is "Do I Disappoint You" by the magnificent Rufus Wainwright, and as far as a picture goes well how about that? The fun-loving Sasha, using only her imagination and a sharpie and reinvisioned my face as an angry cat.
Thursday was spent at my fasha's homestead. It involved my dad's family, our grandma, food, family pictures, and then about and two hours of looking through a suitcase of old photos my grandma brought along. As if that wasn't torture enough afterwards Bryan and I met up with Molly, Gabe, Amber, and Lara to watch Twilight. ...well, it wasn't good. It was highschool drama bullshit infused with vampires and a dash of mythos. Why is that every vampire in this movie looks like they just left the set of a Gap commercial? And what was up with Dr. Carlisle Cullen? He looked like one of the coppertop family? I kept looking for where you put the battery. All in all the story was blah, the directing was sub-par, but the cinematography was good. However, I think the director learned from the Steven Speilberg class of directing: Scenes of People Looking.
Friday was spent eating at mother's. There was a lot of food. It was ummy nummy. I ate till I couldn't move. T'was Glorious! This weekend was spent with friends and family, eating and drinking. Exactly like how my week went. Saturday was spent putting up the christmas tree, and then eating at teh Ginger with friends followed by heading back to Brad's for after-dinner drinks. Sunday was spent consistently getting bumped off of Xbox Live while playing Left 4 Dead, and working on Lacey's computer. However, the Nate called, and informed me that the one and only Bruce Campbell is going to be in Decatur, IL at the Avon Theater tonight promoting his new film My Name is Bruce. So, yeah, I'm going to that. W00T!
In other news I have a new song and a picture to post. The new song is "Do I Disappoint You" by the magnificent Rufus Wainwright, and as far as a picture goes well how about that? The fun-loving Sasha, using only her imagination and a sharpie and reinvisioned my face as an angry cat.
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