Bogey's Bad Weekend

The other night I hopped online with my friends, Evan (Owl Stretcher), Pat (FADED JOKER), and Bogey (double0bogart) to partake in some drunken Halo, the only way to play. Bogey had a big story to tell us. Apparently he quit his job this weekend because everyone there was treating him like the monkey boy he is and forcing him to do their dirty work. So, he quit. I don't think he really wanted to, I mean losing the income and all, but he had to do what he had to do to keep his pride in tact. I applaud you for that Bogey.

Bogey was on his last dollar and decided that he really wanted a Spicy Chicken sam'ich from Wendy's. He drove up and ordered one, and unfortunately the lady working the window was this reoccuring cunt that's always an asshole to him. She was cunting it up as usual when he got the chicken. He checked the order to make sure everything was in order *titter* only to discover that his chicken had been burnt. He then grasped a hold of the chicken with all his might and threw it back through the window hitting Assy McCunthole in the face. Then he sped off with his cold fries. Man, I wish I could have been there for that. He told me that moment made his weekend, and that the cold fries were delicious because they tasted like vengeance. That was the prelude to our drunk Halo session.

Later on in the evening some random douche, of which there are many, mowed Bogey down and shouted, "FEEL MY GAUGE!" I think gauge was short for 12-gauge as in shotgun, but we were all too tipsy to put that together, and instead adapted FEEL MY GAUGE as our new taunt. All throughout the night we would randomly pull out the chestnut when we were feeling saucy, which was constantly because we all had a good druzz (between drunk and buzzed) on.

We also got to hear a crowd-pleasing favorite of Bogey's. Allow me to set up this clip. When an apposing team is composed entirely of doucheheads and shitbags we taunt them during the post-game carnage, which is just a big lobby where anyone can sit as long as they want and talk about the game and compare stats. We use the post-game time to make fun of/ or congratulate the other team. Last night there were a lot of toolbabies on so during post-game Bogey whipped out one of our favorites. It goes a little something like this.

BOGEY: "Hey red (or blue) team, knock knock!"
D-BAGS: "Who's there?"
BOGEY: "Go fuck yourselves!"

Then we immediately leave the post-game lobby. Man, that's the best knock knock joke ever.

Also while playing Bogey got a bit loud and woke up his girlfriend, who was sleeping. She called him from his bedroom and told him to keep it down. Let me repeat that. She, who was no more than 20 feet away in a bedroom, picked up her cell phone and called Bogey, who was no more than 20 feet away from her in the living room, to tell him to keep it down. That's the special kind of lazy that just makes me giggle. The kind of lazy you go out of your way to be. However, Bogey showed her who was boss by, after she told him to keep it down, shouting, "FEEL MY GAUGE!" into the phone and then hanging up. At that moment Bogey realized that he threw the oppurtunity for sex before bed that he wanted right out the window. Poor Bogey.

Well, keep plugging away, Dooblay-O-bawgar!