STUFF YOUR FACE!

DO IT!

Cram this in your Dinner!

Since I posted a halloween video, here's my thanksgiving video. GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!

Back from the Spa and Bearing Film Projects

Well, it's been quite some time, huh? Almost a week? You're probably wondering where I've been. Well, I've been... as they say... "at the spa."

It appears that I missed a photo op on Friday, and today is Muzak Monday. Well, As far as photos go, you can have this one. That's me in Xbox 360 Avatar form. Aren't I a cute little schmeller?

As far as a song goes well, I've added "White Picket Fence" by Jon Purdy. Big thanks to brother Bryan for introducing this song to me. I'm quite the fan. He then went on to propose a music video idea for the song involving zombies. I loved it immediately, of course, and then we got down to work developing it and getting the timing cues down. It'll be a kick ass video once we're done. Oh, for those of you viewing this on Blogger you'll notice that the muzak player is back. You're welcome.

In other projekt newz, last night Evan and I thought up the concept of a gay army, much like the nazi's regime. They'd be goosestepping and all, except with limp-wristed salutes. So, today we developed it more, and plan on shooting a film trailer for a film kind of like gay vision of The Warriors that we're calling Glory Whole. The film focuses around Jeremiah a.k.a. Jerry, and his world generally misunderstanding him that in turn leads to his ostricization. He then falls in with the gayng (see what I did there?), The Kinsey 6. He spirals into a political leader within the gang once reports of gay abolitionist, (whom I don't have a name for yet), start flooding in all over the news. There is murder, suspense, drama, love, and action that eventually lead up to the death of said gay abolitionist, a love story within the gayng, and a call to arms from all gayngs in the area. Gayngs such as La Mariposas, The Dorothies, The Dandy Fops, Buggery Boys, Hog Snogglers & Diesal Dykes, Brosexuals, Milk Maids, Leather Daddies, The Kinsey 6 (of course), Green Carnations, and Yiffies. We want to shoot in the commercial in a gritty pulp fashion, like the trailers shown during Grindhouse. We'd like to know if anyone would be interested in participating in said project. This includes acting and writing. I wouldn't mind bouncing what we have off of some people to get some immediate feedback, and flesh it out.

Left 4 The New Hives Experience

I've put up some new muzak finally. No thanks to you, Project Playlist. *sneer* My favorite The Hives song is now on teh list, "Diabolic Scheme". Love it! The constant cymbal crashing throughout the song always sends chills down my spine. Fun Fact: Chris & my brother, Brad, made an incredibly spine-tingling lynchian short for this song. If we ask nicely perhaps Chris will post the short. Hmmm? What do you say, little buddy?

Well, in other news Left 4 Dead came out today. I, as of yet, haven't had a chance to play it, but just as soon as I publish this I'll be skipping into the living room gleefully, cutting the cellophane, peeling off the security stickers and anti-theft device, smelling the new plastic, popping it in the 'ol 360, and begin slaying wave after wave of zombies. *squee* In celebration I'm posting this Red Vs Blue PSA about zombies. I hope you have a zombie plan.


P.S. Tomorrow the New Xbox Experience goes public. If you don't have Netflix already, I highly recommend signing up for the $9.99/month account for unlimited Instant Watch hours tonight. Then you'll be ready to soak in game and video all through your 360.

Veggie Mama!

Ok.... I wanted to add new music today, but Project Playlist is a bitchcake with fuck you icing. It doesn't have any of the songs I want to add... So, how do I solve this problem? Idk. I'll get back to you. I'm running a bit behind right now, and I don't have time for PP shit. (giggle)

So today you get Peta's take on Majesco's cooking game, Cooking Mama. In an attempt to coax you gamers out there to meet your meat, and simultaneously convince Majesco to add vegetarian recipe levels to Cooking Mama, Peta has put out the flash title, Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals. Yeeeeah boy! Now you can and your cursor can pluck, stuff, and cook a virtual turkey! MmmmMMmm... that's good internets. And you can help! If you can stomach the mundane game you'll be rewarded with WALLPAPERS! BANNERS! and VEGETARIAN RECIPES! Wooooooo!

Kill a turkey NOW!

Gears of Halo Theft Auto 5

This video is rated JO. Jesus Only. Are you holy enough to watch it?



props to Bails for finding this

Coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

So, the NXE is pretty badass. The avatar creation process is a bit seedy, but more options will be available within the coming months. The original dashboard has been condensed to the guide button and all features can be accessed during game or video sessions. The other killer new app of the dashboard is the integration of Netflix. That's right buttonmonkeys! Now, you and your friends, and your family, and your pet dog or cat or hamster or gerbil or fishies or goat can instantly watch any movie from your Netflix Instant View Que right on your Xbox 360! It's cwazy like Wu! Look forward to the New Xbox Experience on Wednesday doagies.

In the New Foto Experience

I don't have much to say today. It's Friday so time to post a photo from teh Port-A-Phone 3200. Today's pic will be....my hands!

Here are my hands...

Here are my hands on Photoshop. Any questions?

There now that is out of the way I can get on to the big news of today. Today I was sent in invitation from Microsoft informing me that I've be selected to preview the NXE (New Xbox Experience) early. The release date for the upgrade is scheduled for the 19th on November. However, I got access to it today. I'll have more news for you about it tomorrow, but first impressions. Me likey so far.

Oh yeah... expect to hear more about my thoughts on the new Bond movie too.

Edge. Mirror's Edge. Jr.

Today's Thursday! Hug your neighbor! Scratch your foot! Make a sandwich! Give it to me!

Sick Status: Getting better. However I still can't do the Peppy Hare voice and properly quote "DO A BARREL ROLL!"

I've been emerged in Mirror's Edge ever since I picked it up yesterday. It's a fast, exhilarating, and sometimes frustrating experience. I mention frustrating because the combat takes a bit to get used to, and more often than not you kind of feel like you're a rat in a cage. You run and run from the cops, and then bam! You hit a dead end. You can hear the blues coming up on you. Their shots whizzing by your melon and burrowing into the wall, but you just stand around looking, sometimes jumping against the wall and falling onto your back like a foolish turtle. However, all of that aside this game is one of the most immersive experiences I've ever had in a video game. I'm constantly white-knuckle gripping the controller with sweaty palms. The sense of panic is very real in this game. Oh, and the deaths are very visceral. When you fall the the camera gets shaky as can be, and the sound becomes distorted as the wind bellows past you. A horrific crescendo leading up to a bone-crunching death as the screen goes black. Very nice!

In other news I'm going to take my happy ass to see the midnight premiere of 007:Quantum of Solace tonight. We'll see just how good "the best Bond movie yet" is.

I'm off to the showers! Peace.

I'm the Best. Around!

No one's ever gonna keep me down! In fact, in celebration of this newly discovered vigor I'm posting a video for *takes a deep breath* Super Street Fighter II HD Remix. Expect this XBLA title to hit the marketplace in time for the premiere of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li movie and launch of Street Fighter 4 the video game. Trim that bonzai, tie on that headband, and don't forget to sweep the leg.



Wooo! That was great, was it not? Let us all take Ryu's words into consideration for a moment...

Well, I saw the doctor today, and the doctor told me, "no more monkeys jumping on my bed." Ok, she didn't, but I always hope they would. Apparently, I've been down with a sinus infection. Go figger. I just awoke from an antibiotic stupper, and I feel a little groggy. I think more juice and soup is in order to get me up to snuff. I'm off for now, but remember....

...YOU WIN!

Tuesday Tunez Left 4 Jesus

Sick Status: Still sick. Seeing the Nurse Practitioner tomorrow.

Once again I'm late on Muzak Monday. I should just rename it Tuesday Tunez, huh? Well, this week's installment is from the world's beloved geek-infused folk singer Jonathan Coulton. We'll be taking in his lovely ballad "Skullcrusher Mountain". A tragic tale about an evil scientist who's own genius won't allow him to love. This song gained the accolades of the "gaming community" and was awarded a slot on the video game Rock Band 2. Enjoy it, won't you?

Moving on!

For those of you that aren't aware the Left 4 Dead demo went live on XBLA for the public today. Grab your controller, and get your grubby little fingers to download it immediately. Trust me. You won't regret it. Just look at the description for the game demo on XBLA. "This Game Rocks. Buy It!" Now now, that's a bit ridiculous, don't you think? However, the game rocks, and you should buy it. :-) There is just no need for such blatant prejudice. Most descriptions for demo titles include a summary of the game with no biased comments. However the demo for Left 4 Dead doesn't even include a summary. Teh hell, Microsoft?

In other news I came across this today and giggled!

Left 4 Kid-Friendly Flix

Sick Status: Still Sick. I'm getting better though. The hourly salt-water gargling is doing miracles. I always hack up something delightful after each wash. Mmmm MMmm.

So, I forgot to post a photo yesterday. Here's one!

Me in my new Member's Only jacket calling the role!

In other news, I tackled an assload of media yesterday. I got down and dirty in the zombocalypse alongside Gabe and Bryan. We ran through the demo for Left 4 Dead a couple times. The demo features two maps from the inner city level. For those of you that don't know each play through is unique. The AI director changes zombie encounters, placement of bosses, music cues, visual cues, and weapon & item placement. So, each time you play through it's different, and it certainly was. You truly have to move and work together in order to survive in this game. Off the top of my head, I can't think of any flaws with the game as of yet. However, keep in mind I have been sick. Oh! I wish there was a way to know what weapon sets your teammates had in order to strategize better. That's it for now.

Other than video games, I went through three great movies. That's right, three! In one day! Oh, it put a grin on my face from sea to shining sea it did. First up was my new Netflix flick, Stay. I wonderfully jarring romp through the cracks that lie between living and dying. This flick also has some great star power behind it with Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts, and Ryan Gosling. Next I watched the David Mamet flick, Redbelt. A film about testing the limits of staying honorable and the way of the samurai. This film, like most of Mamet's, is pretty great, and doesn't dissapoint. After that Molly came over, and we watched The Last Mimzy, a great children's flick. It beckons me back to my youth of pouring my eyes over such flicks as The Explorers and Inner Space. So, I decided to make a list of kid-friendly movies. There are of course some requirements to be met to be included in this list.

Kid-Friendly Flicks: Rules & Regulations
1. No excessive violence
2. It must inspire individuals to be great in way or another
3. A good moral is a plus, but not always required

Ok, well, here is the list of films I came up with so far. Tell me what you think, and if you have any suggestions to add to it. Oh, I also tried, at best to leave seasonal flicks such as The Santa Clause out of it. Those are put into a seasonal/holiday category in my head.

1. The Last Mimzy
2. Secondhand Lions
3. Jumanji
4. Zathura
5. Inner Space
6. The Explorers
7. Shrek
8. Wizard of Oz
9. Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
10. The Lion King
11. Finding Nemo
12. Toy Story
13. E.T. the Extra-Terrestial
14. The Last Starfighter
15. The Neverending Story
16. Labyrinth
17. Star Wars
18. Alice in Wonderland
19. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
20. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
21. The Princess Bride
22. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
23. Horton Hears A Who
24. Peter Pan
25. The Incredibles
26. Iron Giant
27. Monster House
28. Monsters Inc.
29. Spirited Away
30. The Fox & The Hound
31. Aladdin
32. Fern Gully

Well, that's all I got. Thoughts?

Living for Zombies

I'm still sick! I'm pretty sure it's a sinus infection. I nearly lost my voice last night, and again today. However, I've been gargling salt water every hour ,15 minutes past, and in a few years I'm going to be bigger and stronger, and my skin will clear up, and my lanky body will be sculpted into that of a God. I'll save the world with song, and turn you on with my smile. You'll find me curing lepers on the weekends, and making babies in the morning. I'll be stocked, dropped, and ready to go at a moment's whisper. However, for now, seeing as I pre-ordered Left 4 Dead, I have access to the demo early, and if you want to talk to me you'll have to peel my white-knuckled fingers off the trigger and tear me away from my trail of zombie devastation.

Peace, love, and peanut butter M&Ms!

Living on the Mirror's Edge

Here is the final gameplay trailer for Mirror's Edge. Watch it, and then frantically run out and pre-order the game. All pre-orders from Gamestop come with a nifty yellow messenger bag just like the one Faith uses in the game. Fan boys start your drooling.

Whatchu Girl Talkin' 'Bout?

Well, as it turns out I survived Girl Talk! Yay! That's not saying that I almost died in the process. So, I was sick from the get-go, and when I get there what do I do? I start drinking. Of course. It's a concert. How can you NOT drink at a concert. Anywho, After a pitcher or two the first opening act finally came on stage half an hour late. A band called Krak Attack. Two muscular colored gentlemen obviously in love with each other and can't face the facts. All of their songs are about girl's bootys when I think in fact they are secretly about their desires for each other's bootys. On all three screens it was nothing but big girls bending over with exposed crackular linings, and of course them jumping around on stage like monkeys. Then they called about 15 girls on stage to expose their cracks to the audience. It was at this point that I stepped outside because I couldn't take it anymore.

After coming back inside. We waited another forty minutes for a set change. That's right forty minutes! Now, we aren't talking about setting up sound for and instruments for an 8 man band. The following band, The Death Set, was two kids with guitars, and a guy with a 5 piece drum kit. Their name was appropriate though because I actually wanted to kill anyone who got in my way of leaving the venue so I wouldn't have to be assaulted by what they considered music. Essentially, if you did a lot of crack, copped an attitude like The Hives, and then played a song, and then played your instruments quite horribly over the popular song you would have a rough estimation of what The Death Set sounds like.

Another twenty minutes or so pass, and I exchange words about my MST3K jacket with about three of four other gents. Then Girl Talk came on stage. A scrawny little white guy with long brown hair, a beard, and a headband. He walked up to his mixer, and went to town. Right as he started everyone went nuts. The whole place was literally hopping. He started letting everyone up on stage too. All through out the show I kept watching all the girls try to cozy up to him, and the huge bodyguard that stood next to him with his arm exposed in a vein attempt to protect him from the clammering females.

Needless to say, everyone lost about 10 pounds throughout the course of his set. My brother, Brad, befriended a little adorable girl, and then they snuck off somewhere. Then five minutes later I see them both up on stage with the bopping masses. When I talked to him later, apparently, she sweet talked the guard to get them in, and then as soon as they were up there she went loco and started screaming at Brad about something. So, he let her go, and enjoyed his stay up there.

About an hour in, I think, some of the equipment busted, and there was a recess to fix it. Then he was going back on stage. It was at that point we decided to leave. My body was starting to feel the pain from the drinks, the dehydration, the few smokes, I had, and the sickness. My brother stayed for the rest of the set, and I heard it was good. Molly and I went home, got Steak N Shake, ate it, felt horrible, and then fell asleep.

All in all, Girl Talk is awesome. However, not necessarily the most impressive in concert. Sure, he spun his mixes in non-album order, but there wasn't anything particularly great about the live show other then throbbing and gasping for air while bouncing back-to-back with everyone else there.

Girl Talking about Obama. Shut chur mouth!

This'll be short because as of right now I'm down with the sickness. I've been medicated for the past couple days because I have Girl Talk to attend tonight. With any luck I'll survive Girl Talk and not slip into an ill-ridden coma for the weekend. *fingers crossed* In other news, a big congratulations goes out to my man, Obama! Yeeeaaaaa, boi!

Girl Talking about Vote Riffing

So, as we all know tomorrow is Election Day. GO VOTE!

Now, that I've said that let us move on. I'm sure that some of you out there have heard of the greatest television show ever made, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Well, As some of you also know Michael J. Nelson has been continuing the tradition with Rifftrax, and Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbet have been gathering for The Film Crew. I'm huge fans of both. Well, thanks to my friend Evan unearthing rumors of MST3K performing live at St. Louis, I've discovered Cinematic Titanic. Cinematic Titanic is the original cast of MST3K; Joel Hodgson (creator/Joel), Josh Weinstein (Tom Servo/Dr. Erhardt), Trace Beaulieu (Crow/Dr. Forrester), Frank Conniff (TV's Frank), and Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester). It's just like MST3K. They rip on great old classics. Don't worry they tackle yet another Roger Corman film. Anywhoozle, the great thing about Cinematic Titanic is that they do their shows live and sell them on DVD. I don't think the live shows are the ones sold, but they perform their DVD's live. Yeah, the latter sounds better. Let's go with that. If anyone is interested they are going to be at the Lakeshore Theater in Chicago, IL from 12/18 to 12/20. You can definitely expect me at one of the shows. Either on the 18th or the 20th. All ticket info can be found on their website.

http://www.cinematictitanic.com/

In other news it's New Muzak Monday! Now, for those reading this on blogger I still haven't looked at working the kinks out of the music player so you can find me on myspace @ http://www.myspace.com/3kalb. Well, if you don't know Girl Talk is playing at The Canopy Club in Champaign on Wednesday. As of now it's a sold out show. Sorry, folks. However, I will be there getting spun. To celebrate I'm going to add an excerpt from his new album (Feed The Animals) "Hands In The Air". Dig on it, and wish you could make it to the show.

Up Up Down Down...

So, Halloween was a blast! I arrived at my brother's party just in time to see Carl and Sweeney "Barnaby Jones" Todd. I drank too much liquor and beer, and smoked too many cigarettes. Then when I woke up I discovered that Molly and I had picked up Steak N Shake on our way home, and she asked for a large container of fries, which if you're not aware you could carry a baby in. Honestly, I think they just took a sack of potatoes, made fries out of them, and poured them into a box for us. Needless to say I hurt this morning, but I looked OH SO GOOD last night!